How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
