He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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