so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
