This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
