A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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