she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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