Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
