if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
