I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
