i barfeds in our rink
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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