used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
