another moral hangover. fuck.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
