i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
