strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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