Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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