I want to walk on stilts...naked
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Welp...herpes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
