how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
50% drunk capacity currently
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
