It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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