it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
