my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
