its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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