These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
