Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
