remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
