That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
