I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
