Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
