so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
