A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
