Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
