So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
