Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
