No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it glows. i had to have it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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