Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
