yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
