we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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