When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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