so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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