Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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