i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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