i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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