She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
