North Korea, Best Korea!
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
