wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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