when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
