Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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