marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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