yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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