3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
