OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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