she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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