Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
