why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
